Missing Home: When a Loved One is Overwhelmed

Tears drown words. They choke out in an ocean deep. I ache in helpless feeling empathy. These waves are so high. The skyline is lost and the NOW is all that can be seen, felt, struggled with. I feel so far away on this shore and pray with outstretched hands "if she must be consumed, Lord let it be with You."

"Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;

all your waves and breakers have swept over me."

~Psalm 42:7

With all my strength I throw out the Life Saver. I remember when I was rescued from a similar storm. I shout to her soul of His faithfulness. It is right that endings are painful, it makes sense that we grieve them. "We are eternal beings with temporary vision."

We are eternal beings. We are designed for happily ever after. And we will have it! But it is not now. And now is so hard.

I hug her through prayer. I know Jesus' arms can reach her. He gives the best hug because He doesn't let go. There is no awkward length in hugging Him. The Love of her life holds her in the embrace that never has to end. There is such relief of being held by Him with whom there is no ending! Ever.

"It is so important to speak truth more often than you say anything else..." our spirits respond to the words that come out of our mouths.

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."

~ Psalm 27:13-14

"Surely God is my help; the LORD is the one who sustains me."

~Psalm 54:4

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things."

~Philippians 3:7-8

"if anyone speaks, he should do it as speaking the very words of God."

~1 Peter 4:11

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. "

~Psalm 42:5-6

She breathes in His breath and is calmed. He is certainty. He is hope. He is unchanging. He is her future.

I ask when she can come home, we all love her so much here. Soon, hopefully. I know that even when she does, the ache will not completely go away, but we will do our best to comfort.

"Our citizenship is in heaven."

~Philippians 3:20.

That is the Home all of our longings point toward. This is one of those days we just miss Home!

Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.

~2 Corinthians 5:1-9

Vision blurs. Tears are cleansing and not to be held back.

Be Thou my vision, oh Lord of my heart
Nought be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

Be Thou my wisdom, and Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me Lord
Thou my great Father and I Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one

Riches I need not, nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and Thou only first in my heart
High king of heaven my treasure Thou art

Be Thou my vision, oh Lord of my heart
Nought be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

High king of heaven, my victory won
May I reach heaven's joy, bright heaven sun
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my vision, oh ruler of all

Still be my vision, oh ruler of all.

The Main Character

Invigorated from her bath and cozy in fresh pajamas Little Girl runs to her bed creating a sound track of excited giggles along the way. Scaling the mountain of covers and pillows and unfolded laundry she sacrifices some to the floor as she hurriedly settles into her side of the bed, leaving enough room for me on the outside edge. She smiles up at me a grin that her face can barley contain and wiggles her four year old legs in excitement. She never tires of this story.

She knows what is coming, she's heard it many times before, and yet every time we near the end of a chapter that alludes to this long-awaited Rescuer she can't help but cry out "I know who it is! It's Jesus!"

We peer into the dim mirror of a life and search for the reflection of Life.

He is the One we are looking for. He is the only reason we know about these other people. The only reason their lives, and the choices they made, affect our lives and the choices we will make.

He is the Main Character. Always. Only.

As soon as I lay the cover closed she fervently begs, as she always does, "what's next??". I read the title of the next chapter before returning the book to the windowsill beside her piggy bank.

Kisses, prayer, one last "I love you" and this day is over. It flew by as so many do. Eternity rushes forward.

It's been a long day. I collapse in a comfy chair. It turns over and over in my mind... He is the Main Character.

How much frustration would I avoid every day if I remembered that this is His story? How would I view that unexpected phone call? That change in plans?How differently would I view each eternal being I come in contact with?

I have been in His story for 25 years. In a story, each person is ultimately seen through the eyes of the main character. How close they are to that being is how much relevance they have in the story. If my 25 years were written down... what would that look like?

... a child, constantly cared for, completely unaware of the protection and provision...

... a teenager, ungrateful, deceitful, rebellious, hateful. Distracting others away from Him. Spitting in His face. An antagonist. I don't recognize this King in paupers clothes. He calls me Home everyday. I refuse to answer ...

... lost in the labyrinth of a self made web. Broken and unable to find the way home. Crying in the lonely darkness. Sought for and found by Him. Lifted from the thorns, though they scar His hands, and carried patiently in strong, loving arms all the long road back to safety.

... He tirelessly nurses His loved one back to Health...

... when I come to my senses I find myself in a palace, loved and cared for by the Prince of Peace Himself...

... a young woman, wooed and won over, forgiven and healed. My blindness falls away as I draw closer to the Light. Now I see Him dimly. I am grateful for this soft focus, His beauty is painfully breath-taking. He is more than mortal eyes can bear, tears drop hot and fast...

... He wipes away every tear...

... I fall for Him hard...

... He asks for my hand in marriage. I accept!...

... He takes me everywhere. He has been waiting, excited to show me as much as I can bear...

... honeymoon over, the daily grind sets in, and true love is challenged, grows, goes deeper...

... He opens my eyes wider. I see Him everywhere, in everyone. I must share Him like I must breathe. I shout to others " I see Him in you! Do you see? Look here, and here, and here! He loves you so..."

... now happily married best friends. How can my heart even bear the honor of being His bride? I want to serve Him, and those He loves, all my life. Like so many others I pledge " I will follow wherever You lead. "...

For now, eternity is crammed into 24 hour days. How do I use them wisely? Where do I see The Main Character? I will try to follow Him.

Hold my hand Lord Jesus, take me with You! I want to work wherever You work, I want to play when You say "enough work!", I want to listen when You speak. And when the day is done, let me not try to find rest anywhere else. I want to sleep in Your arms. May my story whisper Your name...

"Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."~ 2 Cor. 2:14-15

STOP for Newness

We lose sleep in anticipation of the newness to come. It is a hope filled sacrifice.

Priorities shift. Joy overflows. Thankful prayers pour out.

She's finally here!



We rush to greet newness.



Tears fill eyes. Her journey here was such a struggle! But Praise be to God... she is here now. The wonder of it all creates this beautifully quiet, holy place filled with smiles and hugs and relief and peaceful joy.



God has graced us! Eva Grace is welcomed with loving arms.






It is right that our worlds should stop to acknowledge this gift. It is right that our words be taken away in wonder.

How deep the Father's love for us.

He gives us this new gift.

He gives us the gift of newness.




His mercies are new every morning. He has made us new creations in Him. It is right that our worlds should stop to acknowledge this gift. It is right that our words be taken away in wonder.

Why do I struggle to rise to be with Him?

I lose sleep in anticipation of the newness He holds for me. A hope-filled sacrifice.

Faithfully rewarded with joy.

"Remain in me... I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete..."
~from John 15

I stop and accept His offer of daily newness.

Priorities shift. Joy overflows. Thankful prayers pour out.

He holds nothing back in showing the beauty of newness.

How deep the Father's love for us, How vast beyond all measure That He should give His only Son To make a wretch His treasure How great the pain of searing loss, The Father turns His face away As wounds which mar the chosen One, Bring many sons to glory Behold the Man upon a cross, My sin upon His shoulders Ashamed I hear my mocking voice, Call out among the scoffers It was my sin that held Him there Until it was accomplished His dying breath has brought me life I know that it is finished I will not boast in anything No gifts, no power, no wisdom But I will boast in Jesus Christ His death and resurrection Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer But this I know with all my heart His wounds have paid my ransom. But this I know with all my heart... His wounds have paid my ransom.